Think back (way back if you need to) to the time when you last did something just for yourself – what was it? When was it? Has it even ever happened? True, life’s busy – there are work deadlines, the never-ending laundry pile, family commitments, and all kinds of other things, like the steadily growing stack of unread books by your bed… but the fact is you’re not a robot, and as a human, you’ve got to have some downtime – real, enjoyable, guilt-free downtime that’s just for you.
So how do you squeeze more time for yourself into your overstuffed and quite chaotic life? The good news is that it’s not as impossible as it sounds, so keep reading to find out more.
Master The Art Of Saying No
Have you ever heard of ‘people pleasing syndrome’? It’s the thing where you agree to do something for someone, which could be anything from helping out by giving them a lift to attending a (pointless) meeting, when you really need to be getting on with other things. It leads to a busy, stressful life all because you don’t want to say no to someone and upset them. That’s understandable – no one likes a confrontation – but it’s also dangerous, and it could lead to problems in your own life that you just don’t need, like being late for work, missing out on family time, or just getting sick because of the stress.
That’s why it’s crucial to master the art of saying no – once you can do it, you’ll feel free and happy (and you don’t have to say no to everything; just the things you really can’t do or don’t want to do). The key is to start small. Instead of just automatically agreeing to everyone out of habit, try saying something along the lines of you’d love to help but you’re busy right now. No one needs to know what you’re busy doing (it could be nothing), but remember, your time is precious so you need to reserve some of it just for you.
Have Micro-Breaks
A lot of people will assume that self-care and taking time for themselves means having to book a full day at a spa or go on a silent retreat – something big and bold that everyone has to know about. Well the truth is that that’s a myth, and you don’t have to go anywhere or even spend any money when it comes to self-care if you don’t want to (and if you do want to, of course, go ahead, a spa day sounds lovely). Instead, it’s time to think small again. Micro-breaks could be precisely what you need.
Micro-breaks really are just that – little (tiny) breaks. So you might take five minutes out of your day to step outside and breathe in the fresh air, for example. Or you might play one song and even dance around to it if you want. Or you could quickly go online and play a game of spider solitaire in between projects or meetings. Whatever it is you do, that tiny moment of escape can be hugely therapeutic, and it can recharge you much more quickly than you might have thought.
Schedule Me-Time
If you’re like most people, if something’s not in your calendar or diary, it doesn’t happen, and you might forget all about it completely; it’s as though it doesn’t exist if you haven’t written it down. That’s more than likely because you’re so busy that you can’t keep track of everything (although it can also be a sign of stress or other mental health issues, so if you’re worried, seeing a doctor or therapist isn’t a bad idea), and you’ve probably got into the (very wise) habit of instinctively writing everything down and booking time for it as soon as you know you have to do it. Keeping on top of your health isn’t supposed to be optional. You can get hormone therapy prescribed online via telemedicine if you’re struggling, but you need to find the time to do it. Taking that time is vital for your continued health.
But we bet there’s one area where, even though you know it needs to be done, you don’t schedule any time for it. We’re talking about me-time. Imagine, however, if you were to treat me-time with the same level of importance and seriousness as a project meeting or a dentist appointment or your child’s school play (things you can’t and wouldn’t miss, in other words) – think about how much more relaxed you’d feel if you made sure you had just a little time to yourself on a regular basis. Since that would be wonderful, why not do it? Block out time in your schedule just for you and literally put it in writing then stick to it, and it’ll make all the difference.
Get Rid Of ‘Shoulds’
You know that nagging voice that whispers that you should do this or you should do that and makes you feel guilty because you’re not doing those things? That’s not a helpful voice and, to put it bluntly, it’s lying to you – you shouldn’t be doing anything other than what you’re doing, and if that happens to be nothing at all, then that’s the right thing – that’s me-time and can help you relax just as much as doing a hobby, reading a book, or going for a walk would be.
It’s high time you got rid of the ‘shoulds’ in your life and stopped feeling guilty. Yes, it’s good to clean the house, it’s good to organize your work files, it’s good to check things off your to-do list, but most of the time there’s no urgency to these (and other) things. The email can wait a few extra minutes, and the dishes don’t have to be done right this second. What we’re saying is that the world isn’t going to end just because you take a moment for yourself rather than doing the things you ‘should’ do, and if you put them off and prioritize your own wellbeing, you’ll feel better once you eliminate the guilt.
Outsource What You Need To
One thing you must know right now is that you’re not lazy – far from it. You’ve got too much to do, and life is jam-packed full of really boring but necessary things that you need to fit into your schedule, and that’s why you often don’t have time to do the things you want and that will make you feel good. We’ve already talked about putting them off for a while above, but if that’s not going to work for you (it isn’t always easy), what about outsourcing them and getting some help?
You could hire a cleaner, get your food shopping delivered, teach other people in the house (like your children) how to make beds or deal with the dishwasher or take the dog for a walk, and so on. The fact is that the less time you’re spending on chores, the more time you’ll have for the really important things in life, which includes taking time for yourself. So why not make a list of all the things that are stopping you from doing that right now and see what someone else could do for you, and you might be on the brink of making your life so much better.
Break The Scrolling Habit
We’ve all been there – you sit down for a quick check on your social media accounts, and suddenly hours have passed and you’re watching something completely weird that doesn’t relate to you at all (maybe you weren’t even really paying attention). Now once in a while, this is not a bad thing at all, and it could even count towards your downtime, but too much of it just wastes time and can even make you feel bad, so it’s wise to learn how to break the scrolling habit when you need to.
There are a few ways you can do it, from using timing apps to replacing scrolling with something that actually relaxes you, and it’s well worth trying out to see what happens – if you find your life improves, then that’s the obvious way forward.
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