I had a great meeting with April Beyer an LA based Matchmaker and I wanted to share some of the amazing things she had to say. **By the way, she is currently working with a client who is specifically looking for someone on the curvier side! Feel free to complete a dating profile if this is something you might be interested in and let them know I sent you!** To be perfectly honest, when I was initially contacted by her I wasn’t sure what to think. I’d never thought of reaching out to a matchmaker for a date because even though I know I am beautiful, witty and confident, I always thought matchmakers were looking for size 2 amazon supermodels. Not that we all aren’t beautiful but the thought never really crossed my mind. But, then I figured why not go meet with her and see what she has to say? I am always open to new opportunities and I am so glad I dropped by to meet April and her team! She really opened my eyes and since she works with male clients on a daily basis she gave me some great feedback and insight into dating and what men really think about our bodies!
R: I wanted to sit down with you and learn a little bit more about the work you do, including the work you do with women. Can you give me a sense of your work as a matchmaker and relationship coach?
A: As a Matchmaker, I work exclusively for men who are dedicated to finding love and marriage. I function as a personal headhunter and consultant to them, so I’m always on the look out for the perfect woman for each of my clients. The search is based on emotional, physical and intellectual compatibility. Many people have a good idea of what they want in love, but I help them discover the type of person they really need.
I started coaching women years ago, as I realized so many women were confused by the messages from dating books and online dating advice. Without the proper knowledge and perspective, even the most well thought out matches can fall apart. It’s heartbreaking when I feel that two people were destined to be together, but myths and misperceptions cause them to blow it. As a coach, I can really get in there first and give fate a helping hand. When two people connect authentically, and the sparks fly, I love that!
R: What is the #1 mistake you see women make in their dating lives these days?
A: The mistake I see over and over again with women is them not trusting their own intuition. When you don’t listen to and trust your intuition, you’re literally pushing your most trusted confidant aside. Intuition is a gift but it’s also something everyone needs to put into practice. Women tend not to trust their inner voice and the result is inauthentic behavior that comes from scarcity and fear, rather than confidence and knowledge.
And if I could add a second mistake, I would say holding themselves back from love because of things that don’t matter. There is no need to wait until you lose weight, get that advanced degree, secure the job you want, because love is independent of those things. Be ready and open to it, always. You never know when magic could strike, and you don’t want to miss it! Love is for everyone.
R: You get to hear both sides of the dating story. Men tell you their experiences, and women tell you theirs. What is it that your male clients are really looking for in a woman?
A: Men are always looking for the smart woman who has a lot of depth. They rely on us to teach them how to treat us, and they expect us to show up with those characteristics that are so amazing about us as women. We’re emotional creatures. We’re sensitive. And yet, so many women shut down or put walls up as a way to protect themselves. All men want a woman who has incredible confidence to show her true and authentic self. That’s unbelievably appealing. If a woman genuinely loves who she is and how she looks, men will follow.
R: What do women think men are looking for? Why do you think that is?
A: A lot of women are under the false impression that men want mystery. That might be true for men who are not relationship ready, but for the mature, marriage minded man, he wants to meet the woman who is accessible and available. No games. No mystery. Simply the truth.
R: You sometimes work with men who are looking for or are in relationships with plus size women — what do you think the men want these women to know?
A: Most people think that matchmakers are modeling agents. We’re not. We are seekers of love, and that comes in many forms. Love doesn’t know your age, your weight, where you live or how much money you do or don’t have in the bank. I have clients looking for all different types of beautiful women.
What I hear constantly from my clients is that they’d love to see women love their bodies and dress to be seen, regardless of size. The men looking for plus size women long for those women to be confident and happy with who they are. You never know what a man is looking for in a woman, so I encourage all women to get comfortable and excited about their body, look and age. There is someone out there right now who would love to meet and know you. You simply have to notice when you’re being noticed!
R: If women want to reach out to you, how can they do that?
A: There are several ways women can connect with me. Women who’d like to join my matchmaking network are invited to fill out a complimentary, confidential profile at http://www.beyerandcompany.com. My team reviews each and every profile within 24 hours of submission, and as I say, I do have a client right now who is interested in meeting a woman on the curvier side.
Women who want to improve their dating skills, and learn more about who they are on their journey to love, can visit http://www.aprilbeyer.com, where I offer all kinds of advice for women on my blog Sparks!
And finally, of course I’m on Facebook or Twitter. I love having a community of women all helping each other learn and grow when it comes to love!